Fear of Conflict

"Trully it is not a failing in you that you stiffen yourself against me and
 assert your distinctness or peculiarity: you need not give way or renounce
                              yourself" - Max Stirner

Whenever more than a few anarchists get together, there are arguments. This
   is no surprise, since the word "anarchist" is used to describe a broad
     range of often contradictory ideas and practices. The only common
  denominator is the desire to be rid of authority, and anarchists do not
even agree on what authority is, let alone the question of what methods are
 appropriate for eliminating it. These questions raise many others, and so
  arguments are inevitable.

 The arguments do not bother me. What bothers me is the focus on trying to
 come to an agreement. It is assumed that "because we are all anarchists",
 we must all really want the same thing; our apparent conflicts must merely
 be misunderstandings which we can talk out, finding a common ground. When
    someone refuses to talk things out and insists on maintaining their
  distinctness, they are considered dogmatic. This insistence on finding a
  common ground may be one of the most significant sources of the endless
  dialogue that so frequently takes place of acting to create our lives on
  our own terms. This attempt to find a common ground involves a denial very real conflicts.

 One strategy frequently used to deny conflict is to claim that an argument
  is merely a disagreeement over words and their meanings. As if the words
one uses and how one chooses to use them have no connection to one's ideas,
 dreams and desires. I am convinced that there are very few arguments that
    are merely about words and their meanings. These few could be easily
  resolved if the individuals involved would clearly and precisely explain
  what they mean. When individuals cannot even come to an agreement about
   what words to use and how to use them, it indicates that their dreams,
  desires and ways of thinking are so far apart that even within a single
 language, they cannot find a common tongue. The attempt to reduce such an
 immense chasm to mere semantics is an attempt to deny a very real conflict
             and the singularity of the individuals involved.

 The denial of conflict and of the singularity of individuals may reflect a
  fetish for unity that stems from residual leftism or collectivism. Unity
 has always been highly valued by the left. Since most anarchists, despite
 their attempts to seperate themselves from the left, are merely anti-state
   leftists, they are convinced that only a united front can destroy this
 society which perpetually forces us into unities not of our choosing, and
   that we must, therefore, overcome our differences and join together to
 support the "common cause". But when we give give ourselves to the
"common cause", we are forced to accept the lowest common denominator of
  understanding and struggle. The unities that are created in this way are
   false unities which thrive only by suppressing the unique desires and
  passions of the individuals involved, tranforming them into a mass. Such
  unities are no different from the forming of labor that keeps a factory
functioning or the unity of social consensus which keeps the authorities in
 power and people in line. Mass unity, because it is based on the reduction
 of the individual to a unit in a generality, can never be a basis for the
   destruction of authority, only for its support in one form or another.
 Since we want to destroy authority, we must start from a different basis.

    For me, that basis is myself -- my life with all of its passions and
   dreams, its desires, projects and encounters. From this basis, I make
 "common cause" with no one, but may frequently encounter individuals with
  whom I have an affinity. It may well be that your desires and passions,
 your dreams and projects coincide with mine. Accompanied by an insistence
    upon realizing these in opposition to every form of authority, such
    affinity is a basis for a genuine unity between singular, insurgent
     individuals which lasts only as long as these individuals desire.
Certainly, the desire for the destruction of authority and society can move
   us to strive for an insurrectional unity that becomes large-scale, but
   never as a mass movement; instead it would need to be a coinciding of
 affinities between individuals who insist on making their lives their own.
   This sort of insurrection cannot come about through a reduction of our
  ideas to a lowest common denominator with which everyone can agree, but
   only through the recognition of the singularity of each individual, a
     recognition which embraces the actual conflicts that exist between
    individuals, regardless of how ferocious they may be, as part of the
 amazing wealth of interactions that the world has to offer us once we rid
     ourselves of the social system which has stolen our lives and our
     interactions from us.

 From Willfull Disobedience #2


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